Yesterday I had to have an ultrasound scan of my uterus. I know, I know, you probably don’t really care to hear this, and to be honest I wasn’t going to blog about it because I couldn’t think of a really humorous way to tell the story that would have you all focussing on the funny bits rather than forming mental images in your mind that you would struggle to erase. In fact, even as I was laying there with my belly covered in goop, I was thinking “If I was Dooce, I would already have started writing an hilarious blog post about it in my head, and I’d already be laughing to myself at my incredible wit, and the technician would be all, hey, can you please stop laughing so hard, you’re making your uterus contract and I can’t get a good shot.”
And then of course this morning I log onto Dooce and she also had an ultrasound scan of her uterus yesterday and yes, she blogged about it and yes, it’s hilarious. You should read it.
I had a young male technician, which was fine because I thought it was just going to be an external scan. I had several of those when I was pregnant, they’re no big deal. The only awkward part was when he started asking me questions about why I was having the scan. I wasn’t sure if he was asking me because that would help him know what he was supposed to be looking for, or if he was just making polite conversation. Because if he was just making polite conversation, I figured that any discussion about abnormal bleeding would suddenly make it rather impolite. But I told him, because he asked, and then he said “and how long has this been going on?” and I said “since puberty” and he laughed. Politely.
And then he told me that he would be able to get a better look with the internal scan. I guess my poor little uterus must have contracted violently at the thought because although he was looking at the screen he could totally see that he’d surprised me with this news. He offered to get a female colleague to do it. I said yes please.
And that’s all I’m going to say about that because really, there’s nothing to see here.
(I’m fine, by the way. Thanks.)