totes spoilt

I got totally spoiled for Mothers’ Day.  Or, as the kids like to say, “totes spoilt!”

This is my new Book Bag.  It holds my laptop in one padded compartment and my manuscript in another.

Then there is room for a notepad, some pens, my phone, my purse and a small packet of peanut M&Ms.

The Kikki-k Kallargrand Leather Tote Bag.   Here’s to 20% 0ff full priced items for Kikki-K Members.  And here’s to getting some unexpected cash for helping a friend with a creative project (more on that some other time).  And here’s to the husband who helps the kids pick out the Mothers’ Day gifts :-)

 

totes spoilt May14

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spinning

I’m sorry about the lack of posts, but my head has been in the clouds and spinning around and stuck in the sand and not really thinking terribly much about the blog.  For those of you who haven’t been reading my novel-in-progress there has been a suggestion from my editor to re-write large chunks of it, so that’s all I’ve been thinking about and doing.  It’s funny how all-consuming this process is, especially now that I’m writing for an editor as well.  It just takes it all up to the next notch.

So please excuse the peace and quiet.  I should try to write for a few minutes here each day as a warm-up exercise for my typing fingers.

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NaNoNovel Update

For those of you who have been reading my novel-in-progress and have the Top Secret Password, there’s a new post there for you to read.  Click above on Plan C.

(if you forgot the password, drop me an email.)

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traffic

(I wrote this a few months ago then parked it on my Desktop.  It started to grow mould so I thought I’d post it today.)

The other morning I got stuck in a bit of traffic.  And it really, really bothered me.

I think most of the frustration that people experience behind the wheel of their car on their morning commute comes from being stuck.  Think about it: you are stuck in your car, you can’t abandon it there in the middle of the road and get out and walk the last 100 metres, you have to just sit and wait for the light to turn green and for the people in front of you to get out of your way.  You have no choice but to wait, even if you are running late for a meeting.  How can anyone be expected to be feeling anything but stressed and a little claustrophobic?

Certainly that’s what I feel.

We recently moved from Upper Downer to O’Connor but our kids still go to school on the other side of Northbourne Avenue.  Three or four days a week, because of my job and our teenager’s cello, I have no choice but to drive them to school and our route takes us through the back streets of O’Connor – through the streets of my suburb – and I have to contend with a hundred other commuters who are trying to get into the city by avoiding the gridlock on Northbourne Avenue.

But do you know what annoys me even more than being stuck amongst all these cars?

Seeing some smug little so-and-so on their bike, cruising down the bike path, no doubt arriving at their destination before I have even reached the dreaded Northbourne lights.

It makes me so mad to see them, flying past at 20km an hour whilst I’m stuck on 5.  Sometimes, at the traffic lights, all four lanes of cars have to stop and let these cyclists cross at the pedestrian crossing.  Other times, they choose to ride on the road with the cars and so they get to go through the green lights with us!  The cheek!  It makes me so cranky that they have these options.

Some of them break the road rules occasionally.  That REALLY does my head in.  How dare they use the road if they’re not going to obey the rules!  The audacity!  It’s like people who jay-walk.  Or always drive 10kms over the limit.  Or who steal pens from the stationery cupboard at work.  Or park for half an hour in the 5-minute-only free parking spaces around town.  Or who don’t fess up when the cashier didn’t realise you had a 48-pack of toilet rolls under your trolley.  Or double-park to jump out and post a letter.  Or who don’t tell their waitress that she forgot to charge them for the milkshake.  Or fail to move over so other cars can enter from slip-lanes.  Or who tell white lies about visiting in-laws to get out of volunteering at the school fete.  Or who stop their cars on the pedestrian crossings as they turn left at traffic lights.  Or who speed through 40km zones.  Or who put their hazard lights on so they can park illegally when picking their kids up from school.  Or who drift across from one lane to another without indicating.  Or who run red lights.  Or who park in No Stopping zones.  Or who stop their cars across the Keep Clear markings on the road… Oh, wait… I guess everyone breaks the rules from time to time.  The cheek!

But on the days I don’t have to drive the kids to school, we ride our bikes.  Yes, a few days a week we become smug little so-and-sos.

This time last year I had the opportunity to travel to Norway and Denmark.  While I was there, I saw people commuting on bikes.  They weren’t riding expensive 21-speed racing bikes and wearing lycra.  They weren’t riding mountain bikes with scary, fat wheels and enormous suspension springs.  They were riding the kind of bike my grandmother used to ride to school, and they were wearing their regular clothes.  And they looked fabulous, and relaxed, and… happy!

Why didn’t anybody tell me you could ride a regular bike, wearing regular clothes??

In the year since I’ve been back from that trip, my husband and I have both bought new bikes.  We still had our old 10-speeds from our teenage years, but they hadn’t been ridden since Paul Keating was PM.  We needed to upgrade.  Inspired by what I saw in Europe, we bought two Dutch-style bikes, perfect for our daily commute.

Anyway, back to the rant.

I ride with my children because no matter what route we take, there are times we have to ride on footpaths that are interrupted by busy driveways, through neighbourhoods that are congested with the hustle and bustle of the morning traffic, and along roads that are shared with buses and trucks and the occasional cranky morning commuter.  I need to ride with them to make sure they get there in one piece.  But I also need to ride with them to give myself a little reminder of what it’s like to be a cyclist in Canberra.

If everyone in Canberra was made to ride a bike to work, just once or twice, I reckon we could solve this ongoing battle between the four-wheelers and the pedal-pushers.  One morning on a bike, riding past the traffic rather than being stuck in it, will give you a perspective that everyone who has something to say about the cars vs bikes debate should have.  You need to experience it from both sides.

I understand that it’s frustrating, when you’re sitting behind the wheel of a car and stuck in the traffic, to see cyclists whizzing right past.  It’s like joining the shortest queue at the supermarket but standing still while everyone in the really long queue gets served before you make it to the front.  It’s annoying, and it feels terribly unfair.  Why does she get to go when I have to sit here?  It’s awful to get stuck in traffic.

I saw a photograph of a billboard on Flickr that said:

You’re not stuck in traffic.  You ARE traffic.

If you ride a bike in Canberra you are going to have to contend with a few inevitable problems.  First, the bicycle paths have an annoying habit of ending abruptly before tossing you out onto the street or onto a dirt track strewn with broken beer bottles.

Second, the traffic lights at many of the major intersections have algorithms that seem deliberately tweaked to make you wait as long as possible to cross and if you attempt to dash across an empty intersection against a Do Not Walk sign you run the risk of getting shouted at by someone who needs to vent their frustration at being stuck behind a steering wheel.  (On Northbourne Avenue, for example, you may need to wait one full rotation to get half way, then another full rotation to get right across.  This might have the unpleasant effect of doubling your commuting time).

Third, a lot of people in cars are going to be really annoyed at having to share the road with you.  Some of these people will express this anger verbally.  Others will do it with their horn.  Still others will do it by trying to drive as close as possible to you without knocking you off (THAT’S a fun game!)

But if you ride a bike in Canberra you might also have to contend with a few wonderful things.  First, a lot of people in cars will smile at you and wave you across the intersection in front of you just out of the sheer goodness of their hearts and because they know that it’s not your fault they’re stuck in traffic.  Second, a lot of people in cars will smile at you and say “Hey! Cute bike!” (it helps if you’re riding a European-style sit-upright-bike with wicker-basket panniers and you’re wearing a red dress… just sayin’) and they’ll secretly wish that they, like you, weren’t stuck in traffic.  Third, a lot of people in cars will understand, deep down, that it’s really not that big a deal if you dash across the intersection against a Do Not Walk sign because they know they’d do exactly the same thing if they weren’t stuck in traffic.

I’m relatively new to cycling in Canberra, and I am still getting used to riding my bike around town.  I think this whole city is constantly trying to get used to having cyclists sharing the roads.  I often wonder, if the American Walter Burley Griffin hadn’t won the design competition but a bike-riding architect from Amsterdam had, what our city would look like today.  I like to think that there would be far better infrastructure for commuters who travel by bike, and therefore far more acceptance of their presence on the road.  If you listen to ABC 666’s Traffic Talkback program, you’ll hear a lot of people calling up to complain about cyclists who break the road rules in their efforts to get into the city each day.  The tone of these calls is often quite nasty, as though every time a cyclist dashes across against a Don’t Walk sign, a fairy loses its wings.  I would argue that the people who call up to complain about the cyclists who do this have a) never ridden a bike before and so don’t understand just how frustrating and difficult it is to negotiate the city streets b) found themselves stuck in traffic every day of their working lives and need someone to vent to.  I used to be one of those drivers who got cranky at cyclists, but now I don’t.  And do you know what?  When I get stuck in traffic, and some smug little so-and-so whizzes past me, I don’t get cranky.  I just smile and wave at them, and then arrive at my destination feeling happy rather than stressed.

 

Meanwhile…

… after about twelve months of filling in forms and paying fees, my trademark application has been fully approved and I have the certificate in my hot little hands.  So I guess I’d better hurry up and design the product, right?

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Exception to the Rule

I know I said I wasn’t going to blog about my kids very much, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell stories that might embarass them, but I’m going to have to write about what happened in the kitchen yesterday because it’s a lovely snapshot of my family right now and of how much I love having kids.

I’ve written before about my complete inabiltiy to do basic maths calculations (I’d link to the story but of course it’s one of those tales I told on my old blog, the one I stupidly deleted, gosh I regret doing that!).  And I might have mentioned that my eldest daughter – Madeleine – has no such difficulty because she inherited PJ’s geek-brain.  She can solve algebra, ride a horse, play the cello… but there is one thing that she hasn’t quite mastered.

Madeleine seems to completely lack the ability to follow a recipe.  And it’s so cute watching her try and try and try again.

Kudos to her, she enrolled herself in a baking class at school in an effort to overcome this one hurdle.  Her homework over these school holidays was to make cupcakes.  Vanilla cupcakes with lemon frosting.

And this where she laughs at me for my maths dyslexia, and I laugh at her because she is covered from head to toe in flour.

So she found her recipe, and I reminded her to read through it three times.  And she rolled her eyes at me because that’s what fourteen year old girls do.  So I left her to it, I came down here to my study and got bogged down in Pinterest and waited.

Half an hour later she came down to ask if it mattered that she put the sugar in with the flour, rather than cream it with the butter.

Did you read the recipe?

Um..

So you didn’t read the bit where it said “cream together the butter and sugar”.

Um…

You have to do those two together.

Why?

Something about dissolving the sugar, and making it light and fluffy.

Oh.

I told her to start again with the dry ingredients.  Two days later there’s a bowl of sugar and flour on the kitchen bench that I need to turn into a cake.

A little while later, Ella showed up.

Madeleine needs you.

Huh?

She needs some help with her cupcakes.

Did she ask you to come down here and get me?  Or do you just think she needs some help.

She looks like she needs a little bit of help.

OK then.

There was a big lump of dry dough wrapped tightly around the beater.  And there was flour.  Everywhere.

That looks a bit dry.

Yeah.

Is all the flour in?

Yes.

Did you put it in all at once and turn the mixer on too high?

Yeah.  I’m cleaning it up.

Did you add the eggs?

YES.

What about the milk?

Oh.

Did you read the bit where it says “add the milk and dry ingredients alternatively”?

NO.

So we added the milk slowly, and the batter came back to life.  She kept wiping down the kitchen cupboards while I filled the muffin pan with paper cupcake wrappers.  And all was right with the world.

Ella offered to make the icing.  Madeleine said OK. The entire baking episode took almost three hours.  Afterwards, even Madi had to admit it was pretty funny.  And Ella, to her credit, let the whole thing pass without so much as a wisecrack about her own fabulous baking skillz.

And you know what?  They’re pretty delicious little cupcakes.

Found: one needle in a haystack

What are the odds of a tiny diamond falling out of your engagement ring sometime on a Tuesday morning when you’re rushing around the house, tidying up for the cleaning lady?

And what are the odds that, at the last minute, the cleaning lady is cancelled because your husband is sick with the ‘flu and doesn’t want her coming over to get coughed all over?

And what are the odds that the husband will sit on the kitchen stool, in the morning sunshine (which he always misses on a Thursday, because he’s usually at work) and just happen to catch a glimpse of a little sparkle out of the corner of his eye?

And what are the odds that a diamond could spend a day and a half on the kitchen floor and not get picked up by a puppy paw, or an Ug boot sole?

Seriously, this is the best luck I’ve had in ages.

Now all I need to do is win the lottery!

Found: one needle in a haystack Apr20

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reasons for my absence

1.  I’ve been working.  Like, in a suit, at a desk.

2.  I photographed a wedding on the weekend and I’m still exhausted.  Seriously sore elbow from lugging that enormouse lens around all day.

3.  Kids are on school holidays.  They keep asking me to take them to the movies.

4.  I’ve been writing my novel.

5.  I have been preoccupied with the fact that someone official and clever has been reading my first draft and today I have a meeting with them to discuss the Next Step.

6.  I lied.  I don’t have a suit.

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Being Elmo

“There’s always going to be someone saying you might not succeed, you might not make any money… but all of those things will go away if you really focus on what makes you happy.”  – Kevin Clash.

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Well, now I’m crying.

You should go over to Dooce today and watch this video.  It’s quite incredible.

Or you could watch it here, embedded below.

This is not like that Kony thing that’s going to get slammed by the internets.  This is just someone with a camera and a bunch of really awesome people.

Well, now I’m crying. Apr09

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tough love

Ella uses her iPod Touch to instant-message her friends after they’ve all gone home from school for the day.

She has very long conversations with them, where dozens and dozens of messages are exchanged.

I don’t know what they talk about, I’m not reading them.

But I can’t understand why a child of eleven feels the need to stay in constant contact with her social group after hours.

I try thinking back to when I was that age.

I don’t think I called my friends on the phone every day after school.

I do remember walking home from school with them, and sometimes they would come over to my house or I would go to theirs.

But I don’t recall long phone conversations.  Not when I was eleven, anyway.

The problem is, the kids at Ella’s school spend a lot of time not being friends with each other.

They fight.  They break up.  They make up.  They fight again.

They manipulate.  They tell tales.  They exclude.  They bully.  They keep score.  They hold grudges.

Ella is in the thick of it, don’t misunderstand me.  I’m sure she’s giving as good as she’s getting.

But I’ve seen her come home from school in floods and floods of tears.  Inconsolable.  Hurt.  Despairing.  Shattered.

I don’t want her to be in constant contact with these kids after 3pm.

She needs a break from them.

They need a break from her.

I need for her home life to be safe.  Calm.  Quiet.

I don’t want her to be fighting with friends from the safety of her bedroom.

I don’t want them to be able to get to her while she is here.

I don’t want her reaching out to them while she is here.

I want her to have a break from the drama.

So does her father.

We took the instant message app off her iPhone.

She thinks we are too strict.

She says all the other kids are allowed to have facebook and instant messaging and email accounts and that they all talk to each other after school.

We tell her that we don’t care what other parents do.

We tell her that we doubt that all the other kids are allowed to have all those things but it doesn’t even matter anyway.  What goes on in other families is none of our business.

This is our family.

This is how we do things here.

And we also tell her that we don’t think she’s right – that we are the strictest parents.  She’s just saying that to make us feel bad.

We don’t feel bad.

I am sorry that she is furious and livid and angry at us but I am not going to be persuaded that it’s a good idea for an eleven year old girl to spend so much time and energy maintaining contact with the very people whom she most needs a break from.

She thinks we are being unreasonable.

She said that other parents don’t care so much about what their kids are up to online.

I know for a fact that’s not true.

You can’t win this argument with your kids.  The one where you get compared to the other parents and you inevitably come out looking like the worst parents in the world.

You can only wait until they are a little bit older and they can perhaps try to understand that you were only doing what you have been doing since they moment they were born.

Trying to make sure that they don’t get hurt, and hoping that you don’t hurt them in the process.

*UPDATE*

We have reached a compromise.  We’ll see how it goes.  She can spend an hour each day doing whatever she likes with her iPod – watch movies, texting, games, etc – as long as she’s finished her homework and her chores.

Thank you all for your supportive words, they were very much appreciated by both PJ and me.

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389 pages.

Off to the manuscript assessor.  Who might, if she likes it enough, also agree to be my Editor.

Fingers crossed.

I just wanted to say thanks again to all of you who have helped me to get this project to the 389 double spaced pages stage.  I simply would have stopped writing if you weren’t reading it, chapter by chapter, and telling me to hurry up with the next twist.  I wrote it for you.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

389 pages. Apr02

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The Crazies

I caught the bus to work this morning.  I can’t even remember the last time I caught a bus in Canberra.  It was a while ago.  Anyway.

There was a woman at my bus stop this morning who was chatting to a man standing nearby.  She had one of those loud voices that you can’t really ignore, although it was difficult to listen to her because she was talking complete nonsense.  And it went on for a good ten minutes.

“…There are a couple of Italian ladies who look out for me when I’m in the city and I really am very grateful for them, and perhaps yes, I should change my name to Victoria, I’ve been thinking about it and they think it’s a good idea and some of my other friends think so too.  Then I think I will go and start that orchard in Davenport, it would be a good thing to do…”

She was totally harmless and really quite sweet, I suppose.  She was wearing someone else’s enormous overcoat and she had a small section of curly hair held in place in the back of her head with a brown scrunchie.  We all got onto the very crowded bus and for the ten minute ride into the city interchange she stood quietly behind me up the back.  There was a young woman standing a little further back, talking to her friend; I couldn’t hear her conversation but the harmless, sweet woman turned to her and said something along the lines of

“You know, this bus is very crowded and we all aren’t really interested in hearing what you and your friend have to talk about.”

The young woman (who, I assume, was a regular bus commuter and therefore completely professional when it came to dealing with strange people on the bus) apologised profusely for having disturbed everyone.

But the woman kept telling her off for having the audacity to speak out loud on the bus.  I was THIS CLOSE to turning around and pointing out the obvious double standard but I kept my mouth shut.  Instead, I just gave the young girl a sympathetic half eye-roll, half-wink.  The bus arrived at the interchange and several people got off.

I shuffled a bit further back into the space that had been created and turned to face the young girl.

“Did she get off?” I asked, looking out the window but unable to see outside on account of the fogged-up glass.

The young girl made big saucer eyes at me and tilted her head slightly to my right.

Nope, she didn’t.  She sat down.  Right there.  Next to me.

“Oh.  Hi.”

I have no idea if the crazy harmless woman heard any of that but she didn’t yell at me or anything so maybe I got away with that one.

I have to catch the bus again tomorrow and although I’m about half her age and twice her size I’m really scared that she might be there at the bus stop, ready to torment me with her out-loud inner-monologue and commuter courtesy tips.

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last one

From The Sartorialist

 

last one Mar26

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baby brogues

From The Sartorialist.

baby brogues Mar26

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chic brogues

From The Sartorialist again!

chic brogues Mar26

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summer brogues

From The Sartorialist

summer brogues Mar26

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brogues

From The Sartorialist

brogues Mar26

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brogues

You many not know this about me but I used to own a pair of dark fir-tree green suede brogues.  When I was about 18 I saved up and bought them with the money I was making as a check-out chick.  I bloody loved those shoes.  I wish I still had them.  I don’t know when I threw them away.  But that’s the kind of teenager I was – the kind that wore green suede brogues.

Today I bought myself a pair of black patent leather brogues.  They are delicious.  They are the solution to the problem I’m having with my feet since going ‘barefoot’ which is that my feet are a bit wider and flatter, and they no longer look long and slender in a pair of ballet flats.  The ballet flats have this way of collapsing at the sides to accommodate my pronating feet that just makes them look like wide-body canoes.  Also, I have long toes so most ballet flats give me toe cleavage which is the ugliest thing I heard of once I knew there was a name for it.

The other problem is that I needed a pair of shoes to wear with pants or skirts.  I’m doing some scribing work for the next couple of weeks and I don’t have any ‘dress shoes’ anymore.  I got rid of almost all of my heels about a year ago – I gave them, and most of my suits, to a charity that gives clothes to women who are going for job interviews but who don’t own the right gear.  I’d like to think that the good karma I earned by giving away all those suits and shoes came back for me today when I a) found the brogues and b) managed to get them in my size.  I don’t wear heels anymore, they hurt my feet, so being unable to wear ballet flats and unwilling to wear scary granny-loafers my choices are fairly limited to expensive fine Italian leather lace-ups.  And boots.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’m the kind of 40 year old who wears black patent leather brogues.  And I’m also the kind of 40 year old who won’t tolerate being completely ignored by sales staff in shoe shops, nor will I tolerate a young department store sales assistant who looks at me blankly when I ask her if they have any brogues in stock before replying “I don’t even know what that is.”

I took my 40 year old purchasing power to a nice shoe shop in Manuka where I was served by a very knowledgable older lady who knew exactly what a brogue was and found it hilarious and deplorable in equal parts that one of Canberra’s largest department stores employs shop assistants who don’t know what a brogue is.  That teenager doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.

brogues Mar26

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This movie trailer makes me want to read the book.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (link to the book)

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