Happy Little Vegemite

This past weekend I took Ella to Melbourne to see Taylor Swift.  We couldn’t get tickets to the Sydney shows so we went to Melbourne which, if you ask me, is a much better city to visit for a weekend with your 11 year old.  Melbourne has trams, for starters.

We stayed with one of my oldest friends, Karen, and her family in Port Melbourne.  I don’t know my way around Melbourne at all, but Port Melbourne is in the southern part of the city and is quite near the beach.  Melbourne has beaches?!?

Karen and Andrew have a part-share in a yacht so we got to go sailing on Sunday afternoon which was a lovely treat.  On Monday Ella and I went into the city to see the Moomba Festival and do a bit of shopping (Melbourne has Zara!?) Monday night we went back into town for the concert.

I’ve never had a whole weekend (three days, actually) with just Ella.  It was really fun.  I should do this more often.  There doesn’t always have to be shopping and sailing and Taylor Swift, but there definitely has to be time alone with her.  With both my babies, actually.  Won’t be long now and they won’t take their mum to a rock concert.

And it was really fun!  Taylor Swift is quite the entertainer.  Ella just about lost her voice from screaming her adoration.

Happy Little Vegemite Mar14

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48 hours later…

I can’t write nuanced blog posts when I’m cranky.

I wrote that rant because I was SO upset at all the people who were calling the Kony thing a fraud. I was trying use sarcasm and irony.  I was trying to say that I was sincerely upset at the backlash against Invisible Children because their comments seemed to be INTENDED to make me feel foolish about having taken the entire campaign completely at face value.  Even if what they were saying was true (which it isn’t – please see below indented section!) it seemed to be all about “ha ha ha, all you suckers have bought little red bracelets and funded the hipsters’.  The backlash was SO mean-spirited.  It was gleeful.  It made me angry in the same way that websites that have been set up with the sole purpose of lampooning successful bloggers make me angry.  What’s the point?? What is the point of attacking somebody who has set out to do something good?

Feel it rising in the cities, feel it sweeping overland…

Please read the response to the criticisms of Invisible Children from the GOOD news website.  My favourite parts are in bold red text (my emphasis).

When Jedidiah Jenkins and the rest of the team at Invisible Children put their Kony 2012 mini-doc on YouTube and Vimeo on Monday, their goal was to get 500,000 views before 2013. Four days later, the video has garnered 52 million views, due in large part to its success on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and news sites around the world. Even gossip sites like Radar got in on the action, publishing “7 Things You Should Know About Joseph Kony” next to stories about Lindsay Lohan. But not all the attention was favorable. While Invisible Children’s film introduced millions to Joseph Kony and the atrocities of his Lord’s Resistance Army, dozens of scholars and critics have derided it as simplistic, erroneous, and colonialist. Others call Invisible Children “manipulative.”

Invisible Children has already taken to its website to address some of the criticism. But GOOD conducted one of the first interviews in which Jenkins, director of ideology for Invisible Children and a major part of the film’s production, takes us deeper into exactly what his organization hopes to accomplish with Kony 2012. We’ve omitted the part when Jenkins had to take another call from the infamous celebrity site TMZ. What a difference a week makes.

GOOD: What was the origin of the now-world-famous Kony video?

JEDIDIAH JENKINS: We’ve made 10 documentaries before this one, and we’ve toured them around high schools and colleges since 2006. We’ve built a groundswell of grassroots support through our other films. But the reality is we would work so hard, and make all these videos, and pour so much effort into them, and they would get 3,000 views. But then a video with a cat flushing a toilet gets 40 million views. That left us going, “What are we doing wrong?” And one day, one of our colleagues said, “Man, this would be so much easier of we could make Joseph Kony famous and get people to actually know who he is. We wouldn’t have to fight so hard to get attention on these issues in Uganda.” That was the inspiration. After that, our goal was to make a movie you could watch online, that’s entertaining, and that tells the story in a digestible way. And we had no idea how hungry the global audience was for that.

GOOD: A lot of nonprofits work forever without getting this kind of viral success. How do you think you did it?

JENKINS: There are a lot of good documentaries out there that paint a well-told story about something that’s wrong with the world. But one of the things about high-class documentaries is that they rarely presume to propose an answer; they just beautifully articulate the problem. And we hate that. You’re left going, “Ok, yes, I hate fracking. Now what am I supposed to do about it?”

What we did was paint moral clarity and provide direct action steps. There are no credits or anything else. We presented the problem and then ended the film with three steps to help people make a change. That resonates with people. The third step was as simple as sharing the film. People can do that.

GOOD: Out of all the myriad problems facing Africa, why did you choose to focus on Kony?

JENKINS: Firstly, the story was personal to us. We went to Africa intending to document the tragedies in South Sudan, and on our way we stumbled into children running away from Joseph Kony. The outrage that nothing was being done to stop that, and much of the international community was ignorant to it, was a lot of the impetus. But as we got deeper, we found out that Kony was the first man that the International Criminal Court had ever indicted. They said that because of the perversity of his crimes, and because of the feasibility of his arrest, he should be a flagship example of international cooperation to stop a criminal who crosses borders. The ICC chose Kony, and we’ve kind of partnered with them in an unofficial way. We’ve decided to help them disseminate that ideology to a hungry, millennial, global-minded youth.

GOOD: One of the criticisms people have of Invisible Children is that you only donate 31 percent of your money to the people of Uganda. What’s your response to that?

JENKINS: One flaw of the internet is how quickly it can disseminate misinformation. The actual number is 37 percent. Thirty-seven percent of our budget goes directly to central African-related programs, and the remaining 63 percent goes to our awareness programs. Those include things like flying Ugandans to America to go on cross-country awareness tours we pay for. And our staff in America has to go to Uganda, too. We got criticized for spending $1 million on travel expenses, but getting 130 people around the country and around the world is expensive.

But aside from that, the truth about Invisible Children is that we are not an aid organization, and we don’t intend to be. I think people think we’re over there delivering shoes or food. But we are an advocacy and awareness organization.

There’s a rabid hunger to criticize the spending of charities because of abuse in the past. But all of our finances are public record. You can go online and see how much we make. I pay $300 a month in rent and don’t even own a bed. I sleep on the floor. We’re in this because we love it, because this is the job of our dreams.

GOOD: What do you do with the funds sent to central Africa?

JENKINS: With that money, we’re focusing on revitalizing the region so they don’t have a reason to hate the government and start future conflicts once Kony is gone. Of the 37 percent of funds that go to central Africa, I’d say about 30 percent goes toward energizing Uganda. We have 12 partner schools we rebuilt from the ground up; we have 1,000 kids whose secondary school we pay for; we have several hundred kids in college and mentors for all of them; we have a program called Mend in which we teach former sex slaves to be seamstresses. There’s also our Village Savings and Loan Association, through which we teach villagers how to become their own bank, because there’s not a lot of trust for banks there. On top of that, we have literacy programs. Sure, we’re after Kony, but we’re also doing a lot of other things to help create sustainable peace. And if our website ever stops crashing, you can read about all of this there.

GOOD: Invisible Children supports the Ugandan army, the UPDF, in their pursuit of Kony. But it’s been shown that the UPDF has committed its own atrocities in the past, including rapes. Why are you supporting them?

JENKINS: That’s a great question. Yes, it’s true that the Ugandan military has committed crimes in the past. We do not deny those crimes. But in terms of the pursuit of the LRA in the last six years, they’ve made a marked change and are attempting to be spotless.

We were involved in five years of peace talks with Kony. We want peace. But the truth is that Kony abused the peace process, used it to regain strength, and then went to wreak havoc. At that point, if someone’s busting into your house with a gun and robbing you, you can only talk for so long before you start using force. Force is an absolute last resort, and our campaign is trying to get him to surrender. We don’t want a bloodbath. A peaceful end to this is the dream.

GOOD: Assuming it does come down to conflict, why continue supporting the Ugandan army since most reports say Kony has fled Uganda?

JENKINS: Great question. That’s because the UPDF is the only force able to go after Kony. Congo is a failed state, Central African Republic has no military, South Sudan just became a country and has no military. There’s nobody else there to stop him. The only people there are U.N. peacekeepers, and they have a “do no harm” policy, meaning they can take no offensive action. The only thing they can do is protect their own base. The UPDF is all that’s there. And they have received permission from regional governments to operate in their nations to attack the LRA.

GOOD: A lot of people are wondering what you expect this video to accomplish. What’s the best endgame as far as Invisible Children is concerned?

JENKINS: Our hope is we see an effective end to the LRA. Ideally, beyond all things, we’d like to see Kony’s arrest or his surrender—and not just his arrest; we also want the other leadership of the LRA. But understanding that he is a madman, we understand that it could end violently. Luckily, the United States is involved, and they’re using a great team to try and mitigate violence as much as possible. If Kony is arrested, we’d like to see Kony tried at the Hague, and then it sets a precedent. It tells future warlords that if you want to commit genocide, if you want to commit war crimes, you cannot get away with it anymore.

GOOD: What are your thoughts on people who say this video is an addition to the “white savior” canon?

JENKINS: To be completely candid, I think that’s the most absurd and offensive accusation. The whole point of the movie is that we are all humans. If this were white people suffering these crimes, we would be there, too. It has nothing to do with race and it has nothing to do with neo-colonialism. This has to do with us having the resources to help fight for people who don’t have resources. Also, look at the staff page on our website to see how many Africans work with us. It’s not as if we’re all white guys from San Diego.

GOOD: What do you want to tell the film’s critics directly?

JENKINS: Our films are made for high school children. We make films that speak the language of kids. We say, “You may live thousands of miles away from these problems in Uganda, but those kids are just like you, and you can do something to help them by getting your government and your self involved.” Our films weren’t made to be scrutinized by the Guardian. They were made to get young people involved in some of the world’s worst crimes. We can’t solve every crime, and we don’t intend to. But we can help fight the worst crimes.

I understand the criticism, because I think a healthy dose of skepticism is important when investing time and money into something. But I’d invite anyone to come to our offices and talk to us. I think when people dismiss us as having “white savior complex,” they’re missing the main point: We’re just trying to do a little part to help change the world.

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24 hours later…

I’m not going to take that video down. I’m going to leave it up there as a symbol of my stupidity. My gullibility. My complete lack of cynicism. My tendency to take things entirely at face value and not question whether something is more than as it appears. The entire internet is exploding with the realisation that the charity behind the #Kony2012 campaign is not as squeaky clean and honorable as they would have us believe in that 30 minute movie. People are talking about the high production values and how much of the money they raise goes into making easily-digestible-by-hipsters videos to make even more money for their next movie. People are talking about the facts that were exaggerated or left out and pointing fingers at the movie makers and asking how dare they?

The thing is, as one of the several million people who viewed that movie and retweeted it and put it on their blog (and yeah, if I was on facebook I would have liked the shit out of it), I feel like I’ve been made a total fool of. I feel as though I missed an opportunity to ask a simple question (“is this really legit?”) and in not even asking the question I have laid bare my foolishness. The world is now divided into two – the half that saw the video and bought it, and the other half – the more clever, discerning, cyncial, questioning half – who took one look at it and called bullshit and then turned on everyone who ‘liked’ it and called them a sucker. That video is on my blog, so I must be a sucker.

And all the while we are arguing over who the biggest sucker was, there are small boys being abducted from their beds and told to shoot their parents, and small girls being taken away in the middle of the night to be raped and raped and raped again.

How many of you – from either half – have bothered to write to your local government representative and demand action against the atrocities that are being committed in Africa while we all sit here on our iPads judging the shit out of each other?

KONY 2012

I think this is the most powerful thing I have ever seen.  Please take half an hour to watch it.

 

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a bit heartbroken

Ella tried out for soccer this year and didn’t get into the team she wanted to get into.  She’s played in Division 2 for the last couple of years, and this year she hoped to get into Div 1. To be in Division 1, you have to be a really good player.  And she is.  Just ask her coach, and every other parent from our team last year.  And ask Ella!  Because she knows that she can totally kick that ball further and more accurately than just about anybody.

We had a long talk about how the selection process was never going to allow her to show the selectors what she can really do.  The trials were held over two sessions, and both times the girls were given drills – short passes between players, dribbling the ball around witches’ hats, controlling the ball etc – but not given an opportunity to do all the other stuff that makes a good player really good.  For example, taking a corner kick and sending it curling through the air and landing right in front of the net.  Or tackling another player then turning and running the length of the field before absolutely booting it up and over the keepers’ hands and into the top corner of the net.  Or getting clear of your defender and finding some space so that your team-mate can pass you the ball.  Yeah, she can totally do all of that.

At the end of the long talk she seemed to be OK with it.  She’s excited to be playing in the same team with five of the girls from her team last year, plus a couple of other girls she knows from school (accentuate the positive!).  Also, Div 1 means training twice a week, while Div 2 is just once a week, so she can maintain her busy after-school social life.

Although I would never presume to tell the selectors who they ought to be picking for the Div 1 team, I might ask that they take the time to watch a couple of games this season and just see how much they miss out on by limiting the selection process to ball skills and a 20-minute, 10-a-side kick-around on a pitch the size of a basketball court.  Ella was really upset that she didn’t get to take a corner or a free kick during the trials and she wants the selectors to know that.  So, I’ll pass that on.

And somewhere in there I’ll start to feel better about that young girl who played netball from Under 9s until the end of college but who never got picked for the Representative Squad even though everyone told her, year after year, that she was good enough and should definitely try out because this is the year she was gonna get picked.

 

a bit heartbroken Mar06

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Happy Birthday PJ.

I was writing the background to this story and I wasn’t even three quarters of the way there but was already close to 1000 words.  It’s one of those situations where you’re convinced the preamble is essential to the story but in reality those reading or listening are just hoping you’ll hurry up and cut to the chase.  So, in brief, the salient points from the preamble are:

1.  My husband is the best gift-giver in the history of the world and his gifts are always a huge surprise to me.  I usually give up trying to find him something equally wonderful and just get him something really stupid.  If I manage to find something fantastic for him, I always want to give it to him early, because I’m so excited to have found something great, and I can’t keep it a secret.

2.  My husband turned 40 yesterday.

3.  His whole life, he has wanted a piano.

4.  Yes, he can play.

5.  Up until a week earlier,  I was planning to get him a stupid pen.

So, to cut immediately to The Chase.

PJ went to the US on a work trip last week which gave me the opportunity to sneak around behind his back and get him a piano.  Obviously I couldn’t put a piano on our credit card without drawing some attention (and causing a heart attack) so instead I found a company in Canberra that offers pianos on three years, monthly repayment, interest free terms with only a small up-front deposit.  Perfect.  I did SMS my husband in SF to check that we could cope with the extra monthly drain on our finances but I didn’t tell him what I was getting.  I told him to trust me, and he did.  He does.

I was able to have the piano delivered to the house on Thursday, in time for his arrival on Friday afternoon.  The kids and I papered over the doorway into the loungeroom where the piano sits, with big pieces of butcher’s paper on which we had painted Happy Birthday messages.  It was going to be the Biggest Surprise Ever.

So I picked him up from the airport at 2pm and we had an hour to kill before collecting the kids.  I was hungry, he needed coffee, so we went to a cafe.  We were chatting about the rain we’ve been having in Canberra, and I was telling him how much fun the puppies were having, jumping in the puddles in the backyard.  And then I told him I had taken some cute photos so I handed him the phone and scrolled through a few:

Bugger.

 

Happy Birthday PJ. Mar04

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floating downstream

Forget what you think the Universe is trying to tell you.  Don’t worry so much about why that bad thing happened, or why that good thing hasn’t happened yet.  Don’t think so much about what that means.  Don’t question what the lessons are that you are supposed to be learning. Don’t start to doubt what you know for sure.

Just focus on your goal, on the absolute truth that is in your heart, the thing that you know, deep down, you really, really, really desire.  Don’t doubt that it can happen.  Don’t listen to the people who tell you it can’t happen: their fears about you come from their own insecurities, they have nothing at all to do with you.  Don’t listen to them, don’t let them convince you.  Those are their fears and concerns and they are not relevant to you because you know in your heart that everything is going to be OK.

Remember what it is that you want, and just allow yourself to move toward it.

Don’t do anything that distracts you from your path.  Don’t engage in a discussion with your doubters.  You don’t have to convince anybody else that you are on the right track – you know that you are, because you can feel yourself gliding effortlessly along it.  You can feel yourself floating downstream towards the life that you have imagined for yourself.  You are floating downstream.

Don’t stop to argue.  Don’t stop to doubt.  Don’t stop to wonder if this is too much to wish for.  Just go, just drift along without anything tugging at you, pulling you in the wrong direction or just holding you back.  Do nothing that turns you back upstream.  You will know when it’s starting to happen, you will feel the water pushing against you, and you just have to turn and go with the currents.  Let go of all the other stuff, you don’t need it.  Let go.  Float.  Be happy and content and free.

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The Big Dog

PJ is away on a work trip at the moment so the girls and I are trying to get through our week without him.  It’s interesting how the absence of one person upsets the balance in this house.  Ella was away at school camp for a few days last week and the mood in the house was quite noticeably different, though I can’t put my finger on exactly what the mood was.  Maybe we just missed her.  But PJ has been gone since last week and won’t be back for another couple of days and the mood is clearly defineable – we all miss him because his presence raises the level of decorum in the house.  There is less yelling on my part because a) the kids are better behaved when he’s around and b) I’m much calmer.

The puppies are going a bit feral, too.  They’re peeing and pooping all over the place, which they haven’t done since they were only teeny little babies.  They’re a bit clingy; they follow me everywhere, perhaps worried that I’m going to disappear, too.  They have been leaping up onto the furniture and barking at people walking past the back gate and chewing on everything.  Usually, PJ is here to growl at them but he’s not, and while the Big Dog’s away, the puppies will go completely nuts.  I’ve been trying to growl at them but it hurts my throat.

So we will all wait impatiently for his return, when life as we know it will go back to normal and the balance will be restored and I won’t be spending my days mopping up the floors and getting cranky at the girls – who, to be fair, just miss him a lot, too.

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Product Review

I don’t do these, even when asked.  I only do them when I come across a product that I am SO impressed with that I simply have to tell the entire world.

Aesop is an Australian skin care company.  I have been using their Parsley Seed Eye Cream and Camellia Nut Facial Hydrating Cream for about two years.  I’ll be honest, I don’t know if these two products are having a significant impact on my rapidly ageing skin but I will say that my skin has never felt better in my entire life.  It’s hydrated, clear, soft and mostly unblemished.

When I do get a pimple, however, my first instinct is to crawl under the bed.  It’s like my face saves up all the oil and gunk and delivers one perfectly formed, enormous pimple every 28 days or so.  Sometimes, it delivers two or three.  Always on my chin.  And they always last at least a week.

But not anymore!  Because I have discovered AESOP CONTROL!!!

I’m not kidding, this stuff is miraculous.  That’s why I added three exclamation points.  THREE.

I bought a 9ml tube about three months ago, and I’ve been using it on every single pimple I’ve cultivated in that time and have kept a mental diary of the results.  After three months and about a dozen zits, I can honestly say that this is the most amazing skin care product I have ever bought in my life.

Do you know those pimples that start forming on your chin under several layers of skin, that start to appear as a kind of raised mound, not unlike that which a baseball pitcher stands on?  There’s no obvious central point, it doesn’t look as though it’s about to break through the skin, but it’s there, lurking, like the swollen bulge of an active volcano, a few days before it erupts.

I had one of those two weeks ago.  I resisted the almost irresistible urge to try to coax it out with some external pressure and instead dabbed some AESOP CONTROL!!! on the general area.  Within 24 hours IT WAS GONE.

Then I had one of those big pimples that just kinda pops up right in the middle of your cheek, you know those?  It had a very obvious central point, and was extremely red and tender in the days leading up to its debut.  I decided to try an experiment.  I didn’t squeeze it, I just dabbed some AESOP CONTROL!!! on it and watched, and waited.

It came to fruition much more quickly than I would have expected.  And then, when it was ready to pop, I… I… gave it a little squeeze.  I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

So I was left with a red, oozy crater in the side of my face.  Nice.

I dabbed some AESOP CONTROL!!! on the spot when I went to bed and the next morning… are you sitting down?

The next morning there was barely anything left to look at.  The swelling was gone.  The redness was gone.  There was a small mark where it had been, which was easily covered with concealer.  It was barely noticeable.

This is unprecedented.  Pimples never clear up less than 24 hours after I squeeze them.  Generally, they get big and angry and they sometimes reform and come back with a vengeance.  Not anymore.  Now, they’re pretty much gone in a day.

If you have trouble with pimples, I highly recommend you get yourself a tube of this miraculous stuff.  It costs about $23, and the tube is small, but I reckon this will last me at least 12 months.  You only use a tiny little dot.

blissripple

Love is the Seventh Wave

(Sting)

In the empire of the senses
You’re the queen of all you survey
All the cities all the nations
Everything that falls your way
There is a deeper wave than this
That you don’t understand
There is a deeper wave than this
Tugging at your hand

Every ripple on the ocean
Every leaf on every tree
Every sand dune in the desert
Every power we never see
There is a deeper wave than this
Swelling in the world
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

Feel it rising in the cities
Feel it sweeping over land
Over borders, over frontiers
Nothing will its power withstand
There is no deeper wave than this
Rising in the world
There is no deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

All the bloodshed, all the anger
All the weapons, all the greed
All the armies, all the missiles
All the symbols of our fear
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the world
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

At the still point of destruction
At the centre of the fury
All the angels, all the devils
All around us can’t you see
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the land
There is a deeper wave than this
Nothing will withstand

I say love is the seventh wave

My favourite chorus is the one in bold.  If I have this song playing in the car at just the right volume, with the sun coming through the window at just the right angle, those words can reduce me to tears of joy.  Feel it rising in the cities, feel it sweeping overland… goosebumps.

Since writing that first post about happiness and joy, I have been inundated with messages from the universe – and from all the lovely people who commented on my blog – telling me that this is something that so many people are feeling right now: the need to edit out any unnecessary sadness, anger and angst, and instead concentrate on the things that bring us happiness and peace.  It’s not about shutting yourself off completely from the world, and it’s not about ceasing to care about others.  It’s about looking after yourself by limiting your exposure to those things that make you feel bad, that you don’t really need to be exposed to.  It’s pretty simple.

The first words:

In the empire of the senses
You’re the queen of all you survey

… have never made more sense to me than they do today.  You are in charge of the way you feel.  You are in charge of your feelings and emotions.  Nobody else can tell you how to feel, only you can do that.  And if you’ve got your head buried in tweets from all those journalists and hacks you follow on Twitter then it’s your own damn fault that you’ve fallen into a funk over the state of federal politics.

I’ve just started a new Twitter feed – @blissripple.  I made that word up.  To me, it describes how happiness and joy and bliss can be sent out from a central point in waves that other people can feel.  A blissripple can be an emotion or a fragrance or a sound, a response to some kind of event or happening… it’s energy that comes from somewhere and can be felt as it hits you and passes through your body.  And then it keeps going and going, catching people in its endless, outward journey, getting stronger and bigger as it goes.

Does that sound a bit twee?  A bit cutesy?

I don’t care, because for me it perfectly describes what I’m going to try to do more of with my life… send out blissripples and to keep my mind and my heart open to feeling them when blissripples come to me.

I’m going to use @blissripple to follow tweeters who only tweet blissful, happy, positive, joyful things.  I’m keeping @eatshootblog open for everything else, but I’m about to unsubscribe to a bunch of tweeters who seem overly obsessed with Australian politics.

blissripple Feb22

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more on being happy

The VMCA (aka Vanessa) said something interesting in the comments -

It never ceases to amaze me how all those tragic stories draw readers like flies to honey, yet write a blog that is filled to the brim with happiness and light and you run the risk of ‘not keeping it real’ or being called a fraud, because afterall how could *anyone* be so  happy all the time.

One of the happiest, most positive blogs I have ever read was The Pioneer Woman’s blog.  She never complained about anything.  She celebrated the simplest things.  She loved her children and husband and her life on the ranch and was unapologetically up-beat, all the time.  The only reason I’ve stopped subscribing to her blog is that I found it all a bit much – the cookbook and the novel and the associated book tours, the tv show, the guest bloggers, the movie deal, the weekends at the Ranch that I could never attend…  even though she was still writing charming little anecdotes about life on the land, they were buried under what seemed to be, I don’t know, some kind of marketing machine gone crazy.  I’m sure she’s still keeping it real, I’m sure she’s not a fraud, and I sincerely wish her the best of luck.  But she has taken happy happy joy joy and made it somehow a bit unreachable, a bit commercial, a bit much.

I’m grateful for all your comments on that last blog.  It’s true, everyone seems to be on a bit of a high these days and have less time for all the bullshit that we used to allow in.  I’m completely zoning out on all the crap in the media at the moment (Australian politics is a hot mess right now) and I have also reduced the amount of negative ‘noise’ in my life by unsubscribing to people in the virtual world as well as a few people in the real world. I thought I would feel a bit guilty about that, but I don’t.  I feel good.

I think the most important thing to do – when you’re trying to find more happiness and attempting to feel more gratitude in your life -  is to NOT feel guilty about that.

You know when you’re going through a bad time, whether it’s to do with health, finance or family, there’s always some helpful bugger ready to point out that “there are people worse off than you” as though that’s supposed to make you feel better?

That always bothered me – that you couldn’t wallow in your self-pity or ask for a bit of sympathy because someone else decided that really, in the great scheme of things, your problems are miniscule.

So it would also bother me if someone told me I couldn’t wallow in my good mood, soak in my good fortune, bask in my happiness, marinade in my merriment, celebrate my contentment.  I don’t want to gloat, I don’t want to be thought of as a smug prat.  But it is difficult to be outwardly happy and positive (ie to fill your blog with posts about How Great Things Are Right Now) without turning people off. Especially here in Australia, where keeping other people’s feet firmly on the ground (and cutting down the Tall Poppies) is a national passtime.

Which begs the question… why blog about happiness and contentment if you’re worried about what people think?  Why blog about happiness and contentment at all?  What’s your point, exactly, and what are you trying to achieve?  Are you trying to encourage people to be happier?  Are you attempting to set an example and inspire people to try to follow it?

OK so it begs a couple of questions.

I’m still just thinking out loud.  I’m trying to come up with a way to celebrate and enjoy this time in my life, and to blog about it without sounding like somebody who has lost touch with reality.  I just want to show how grateful I am for all the blessings I have, but I don’t know how to do that.  I need practice.  I’ve never felt like this before,  I don’t know how to do it.

I love that quote, the one Phillipa added from India Knight:

“The older I get the more I just want to sit next to radiators.  You know, things that generate warmth.  If that makes me selfish, then so be it.  But I’m much happier for it.”

‘Sitting Next to Radiators” – that would make a good title for a new blog, don’t you think?

 

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happy happy joy joy

One of the many bloggers whose blogs I read without any expectation or hope that they might read mine in return* recently linked to her three or four favourite bloggers.  She is a beautiful writer, and her favourites are also beautiful writers, and I clicked through to read their blogs because of her recommendation.

All of the bloggers she linked to write beautifully of their relentlessly tragic, sad, depressing, desperate lives.  I read a few posts on each of their pages before I had to click over to Pinterest and search for “puppies” to cheer myself up.

My husband has been a fan of Manchester United since he can remember.  We got Pay TV so he could watch the English Premier League.  I confess to not being completely up to date on what’s been happening in the EPL but I do know that some of the players have been involved in racial vilification that has in turn sparked some extremely ugly behaviour from the fans and grossly inadequate responses from the football officials.  It has gotten so bad that PJ has decided to stop watching the EPL until something is done about the racism in English football.  This is a man who would stay up for a 4am kick-off between Man-U and Liverpool.  He is now not watching football.

The thing is, misery-bloggers will keep on writing their cathartic stories and the football players will keep being complete arseholes, but me and PJ are opting out.  Because this is 2012, the Year of the Dragon, and a year of enormous, positive change for us.  We are in such a happy place right now, everything is going well, and to be frank we just don’t want to invite anything into our life that doesn’t match our current mood.  No, we’re not just covering our ears and saying “la-la-la-la-la-la-we-can’t-hear-you” or burying our head in the sand until global warming stops happening.  I’m just saying that we are making a conscious effort to avoid any extra sadness, anger, frustration, pettiness, conflict etc.

I am trying very hard not to yell at the traffic.  I am also trying very hard not to still feel intense anger about my former brother in law and what he did to my sister.  I am trying every day to not let the kids’ silly arguments about whose turn it is to do the dishwasher get under my skin.  I am trying to surround myself with wonderful friends, beautiful things, uplifting music, romantic comedies, 1200 thread count cotton sheets and comfortable shoes.  I don’t gain anything from reading a beautifully written blog post about the death of a five year old boy.  I don’t need to read about somebody else’s marriage woes in order to better appreciate my own life.  I don’t want to know that English football fans have been booing the black guy – who had the audacity to report his abuser – every time he touches the ball.

Now that the kids have gone back to school I have thrown myself back in to writing and editing my book.  I am about to rip out several chapters’ worth of sub-plot and re-write an entire plot device.  My head needs to be clear of noise. I need to stay focussed and positive and clear in my mind about what I am doing.  I have enough distractions in my life with the two puppies sleeping at my feet.

 

 

 

 

*she doesn’t read my blog, so if you are reading this, you are not her.  I just wanted to make this distinction because a bunch of you are seriously wonderful writers and I didn’t want you thinking that this was about you.

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Goosebumps

I had never seen this video of Whitney Houston singing the American National Anthem at the Superbowl until this week.  I have never in my life had goosebumps all over my body in response to hearing somebody sing.  Incredible.

(sorry, I don’t know where the video is… just google Whitney Houston American National Anthem Superbowl and you’ll see it, if you’re interested).

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Shrooms

My friend Kathy was looking for these pictures on my blog. They’re not there anymore, because I got rid of them all in a big clean-up.

You know how sometimes you feel like you should just delete your whole stupid blog and start from scratch?

Dont.  It’s not all stupid.

(Thanks, Kathy!)

In 2010 I went to Sweden and spent a couple of hours hunting for mushrooms in a forest with long-time family friends, Agneta and James.  It was truly magical.  I wish my girls could have seen this place.  Maybe they will, one day.

Shrooms Feb14

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impulse purchase

I know, I know, I said I was only going to buy things that are grey or navy blue… but who can resist a  scarf?  Especially one this pretty?  Some impulses just cannot be ignored.

My dear friend Sophie made this.  See the little red stitching along the bottom?

It’s a ladybird.  So, there’s my little flash of red.  This is going to look gorgeous with all my new navy tops.  I saw it, and bought it faster than you can say “That’s going to make you look particularly chic on your bike this autumn, Trish.”

Sophie has been making beautiful things to sell in her etsy store for a few years now.  Proceeds from the sale of her clothes and things ‘for in the home’ go to supporting the work of the doctors at the Melbourne Royal Children’s Hospital’s Stroke Unit.  She’s just re-branded and she is now known as ‘The White House’.  Sophie is yet to blog about the meaning behind the new name, but she has hinted at opening a real, live, actual shop one day and I haven’t been this excited for her since she told me she was pregnant with her little boy…

Isn’t he divine?

impulse purchase Feb09

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Mini-break

I’m off to Byron Bay tomorrow, to meet up with a girlfriend (Brooke) and then attend the 40th birthday party of another old school friend of ours, Dan.  Dan and Brooke both came to Canberra for my 40th, he and I both went to Sydney for Brooke’s last May, and now we’re all going to be in Byron Bay for his and that just seems fair and right, doesn’t it?  Brooke and I are going to stay in a beach house that belongs to another dear school friend, Penny (who lives in Brisbane), but Penny can’t come because she had a prior engagement, in Sydney.

For those of you who don’t know, Byron Bay is on the northern NSW coast, not far south of the NSW/Queensland border, where it’s always tropical and warm and lush and green.  I’ll be taking my camera and practicing my landscape photography.

The theme of the party, by the way, is “80s Yacht Rock”.  So I’m thinking navy/white striped tshirt, wide-leg pants, sailor’s cap and enormous white-framed sunglasses.  Hilarious.

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sweetie-pie

This little poppet is the younger daughter of some friends of ours.  They’ve just moved back to Canberra after several years living, working and making beautiful babies in Brisbane.  I’m so excited that they’re back, and that I get to take pictures of their girls.

So many of my friends have beautiful children!  It’s ridiculous.

sweetie-pie Feb06

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on editing

The editing of the First Draft is coming along well.  Those of you who’ve read it will know that it’s heavy on dialogue, light on descriptive passages.  I’ve had feedback from a few friends who have suggested it could be improved by a few more breaks in the conversation to talk about what is going on in that scene, what’s going on inside the main character’s head, maybe a little about the setting and what is happening around them.  I think it’s good advice, so I’m going through and adding paragraphs and sentences here and there to break it all up.  Not surprisingly there’s a word for these breaks – they’re called ‘beats’ in editor-speak. (I’ve been reading my how-to editing books!)

I’ve had a bit of feedback about the syntax and structure, and some about whether or not a particular character would behave/speak in that way.  It’s tricky to give your characters different voices so that they don’t all just sound like the same person speaking.  I’m going through the text to make sure everyone has their own sayings and indiosyncracies and perhaps try and tweak the cadence if I can be that clever.  Hard work.  But rewarding.

To give you some idea of how much more work I have in front of me, the novel is a bit like a fixer-upper house, a big renovation project.  The ‘bones’ are there but the kitchen needs ripping out, the tiling in the bathroom needs repairing and every single wall needs to be repainted.  And there are a hundred little holes in the walls where someone tried to nail in picture hangers; those need to be fixed.

I’m really keen to get it in front of someone who can give me some completely objective feedback.  My girlfriends assure me that they’re not just telling me it’s good because they’re worried about upsetting me with a bad review, but I’d still like to hear it from a complete stranger.  Well, I’m not sure I’d “like” to hear it but I know I need to hear it.  The kids go back to school tomorrow and then I’ll be able to sit at my desk for a couple of hours of uninterrupted writing every day, and I hope by the end of February to have it ready for a Manuscript Assessor.

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Pasta de la What’s In The Fridge

Penne with Broccoli, Peas, Pine Nuts, Goats Cheese Feta and some leftover herb/breadcrumb mix from when I made Cheat’s Chicken Parmagiana.

This actually turned out quite well.  I made a egg/cream sauce, so it was like a carbonara (one egg, 20oml of Philadelphia Cream For Cooking, whisked together).

While the pasta was cooking I toasted the pinenuts a frying pan and when they were done I removed them and toasted the breadcrumbs in the same pan.

I steamed the broccoli separately but in hingsight I could have tossed the florets and the frozen peas into the boiling penne when it had a couple of minutes left to cook.

After I strained the pasta/veg, I put it back in the pot and poured the egg/cream over it and tossed it gently until the sauce had coated everything.

I chopped the big cubes of marinated goats cheese feta into bits and sprinkled it on top.

I reckon this would be sensational if you started by pan-frying some pancetta or really good bacon.

Pasta de la What’s In The Fridge Feb01

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there’s a hole in my brain

Several years ago I was working in the office of a very senior public official – a Member of Parliament, actually -  just doing a bit of temporary administrative support work, and I was given the task of writing a letter to a constituent.  I was given rough guidelines for what to write, and I sat at my desk and composed a really well written letter, if I do say so myself.

So I wrote this great letter to the constituent and then showed it to my boss, the MP’s Executive Assistant.  She read it, said it was terrific, then pointed out the glaring mistake.

I had printed it upside down a sheet of letterhead.

This is just one example of hundreds of small errors I have made in my life because I am seemingly incapable of mastering the art of paying Attention To Detail.  This is where I consistently, continuously fail.  I copy down the wrong number.  I make the wrong coffee.  I forget to call the guy back.  I don’t tick the right box.  I order the wrong photographs from the print lab.  I double-book the kids into haircuts and tennis lessons.  I don’t check the exposure on the image before I click…

I know that everyone forgets things from time to time but I’m quite convinced that I have a special talent for this kind of thing.  Working in the Cafe for six months confirmed it for me: some of the mistakes could be blamed on a communication break-down or simple misunderstanding but there were plenty of times when I would suddenly realise that, for example, I hadn’t put the right price tag on all the new packets of pasta that I had just priced for the store.  I would look at the price guide, then look at the price-gun thing, and wonder how on earth I managed to get that wrong.

There’s nothing like a small error to make you feel like a BIG idiot.

It’s a good thing I’m not a nurse, administering drugs.  You know those horror stories about patients getting injected with the wrong drug, or ten times the correct dose?  That would be me.

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wardrobe malfunction

All this First Crappy Draft editing has got me looking at other areas of my life that could do with a bit of a going-over.  The most obvious place to start is my wardrobe.  You can blame Pinterest, in particular those Pins from people who use POLYVORE to create outfits.

(I’ve had a quick look at Polyvore but I can’t quite get my head around it… basically you find online images of clothes you like and group them together to create an outfit or a mock-up of a page out of a fashion magazine.  I got a bit overwhelmed by it all, because I’m not 21 years old anymore, but I’m happy to rePin other people’s creations if they fit with my personal preferences…)

I keep rePinning similar things, which may or may not suggest that I am starting to develop a Signature Style.

Oh yes, I just wrote that.

Navy and grey?

More navy…

Grey, this time with green accessories…

Grey and a splash of hot pink…

 

I like grey.  I like grey clothes, and I like grey furnishings.  Our sofa is grey.  My hair is grey.  Wait, no it isn’t.  But it will be, one day, and I want to be ready for it with a coordinating wardrobe.

I also like navy blue.  And I love red.  And I love green.  And plum.

I might need some help.

I’m going to ask for a Wardrobe Audit + Shopping Date for my next birthday.

Though to be honest, I could do the audit bit myself, if I was really brutal about it.  Get rid of everything I don’t wear. Even the green trench coat that I bought a couple of winters ago that I absolutely love love loved in the shop… I barely ever wear it.

I think I need to pick a few colours and stick to those.  Maybe I need to stick to a couple of basic colours (grey, navy and white) and then use red and green to brighten things up.

Yes, that seems sensible.

Maybe I’ll chuck out everything in my wardrobe that isn’t grey, navy or white and start over?  Except I’ll keep my red winter coat.  And a couple of Marimekko Stripey Tshirts.  And the dress I bought for my 40th.

Hmm… this could be interesting.  Maybe not interesting enough to blog about or even talk out loud about but it is certainly something I can work on when I’m procrastinating on my novel.

*I was going to call this post “completely vacuous nonsense about clothes”.

 

 

 

 

wardrobe malfunction Jan29

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layers

(via The Sartorialist)

I love the navy coat over the denim jacket over the cream woollen jumper over the check shirt…  And the red lipstick and nails and purse.  Very chic.  Very Parisienne.

You’d have to be pretty slim to get away with wearing that much fabric and still look so svelte.  Demin in particular is really bulky.  I think I would actually find it uncomfortable, in a restricted-movement kind of way.

On the other hand, if it’s a fine merino wool, and a well-worn denim jacket, and a nice roomy coat, and a thin cotton shirt…  that might not be so bad.

These are the thoughts that occupy my brain in the dying days of the eight week long summer holidays.

layers Jan29

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Your YouTube Moment of Zen for Friday

Never laughed so hard in my life. This is… perfect.

Stuff to make you smile

Sometimes you come across an hilarious or clever comment on someone’s blog or YouTube video and you think “damn, I wish I’d written that!”  Here are a whole bunch of them for your enjoyment: HERE.

That Star Wars Improv on the Subway thing… watch it and be the 7,081,736th viewer.  HERE.

Watch ‘Charlie Bit My Finger’ and be the 413,123,729th viewer.  HERE.

 

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oh crap

A new book has just come out.

So I guess I’m really going to have to think of a new title for my book, huh?

Meanwhile, if you want to read someone else’s Plan C here’s the link.

Good luck to her.  And – awesome cover design.  I love the red wine stain.

oh crap Jan25

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cruel but hilarious

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to use a changeroom again after watching this. What a horrible and cruel thing to do. And yet… I snorted my mineral water out of my nose.

Your YouTube Moment of Zen

tear jerker

Don’t read this if you are sitting at your desk at work and you’re not wearing waterproof mascara.

The Purpose of a Dog

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.  Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, ‘People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”

The Six-year-old continued,  ”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

 

* My Dad sent me this via email today :-) Thanks Dad.

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stuck in traffic

Someone I know is stuck in traffic, so to speak, for the next few weeks and so in order to help the time pass and save her from certain Death By Boredom I am going to try a bit harder to blog daily, and make it interesting.  Let’s start with this.

Are you on Pinterest?

It took me a little while to get the hang of it but I can finally say with absolute certainty that I’m completely addicted.  It’s a way of sharing images (of ANYTHING) that you see on the Internet and want to show other people.  You see something, then you ‘pin it’ to your ‘board’.  Other people can see your board, and you can see other people’s boards.  Your board can be divided up into several different boards according to themes or subjects.  You can make it private or public.  And you can use the search feature to find things that have been pinned to other people’s boards.  For example, my friend Clare is searching for a pendant light for her new house, so I searched Pinterest for that:

When you pin something onto your board, the source of the item is automatically recorded, so if Clare likes the look of any of those pendants, she can click on the link and see where to buy it from.

This website is quite brilliant, if you happen to have hours and hours to while away.

To join, you need to be invited by a current member.  I was invited by a friend, and now I can invite you!  If you want to sign up, say so in the Comments and I’ll email you an invite.

stuck in traffic Jan23

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Curried couscous

I’ve blogged this recipe before but it’s in the archives so I thought I’d put it up again, given the time of year.  This is a great salad to serve with bbq’d chicken or lamb.  My kids can make it, and they love to eat it.  And whenever I serve it up to guests, they ask for the recipe.

It comes from this book, which I first saw on the kitchen shelf of my American by-marriage-aunt, Susie.  When I went to New York in 2004 I bought myself a copy of it, and it falls open to this recipe.

Ina Garten (aka The Barefoot Contessa) – she has a website with more recipes!

Curried Couscous

1 1/2 cups couscous

1 tablespoon unsalted butter

1 1/2 cups boiling water

1/4 cup plain yoghurt

1/4 cup good olive oil

1 teaspoon white wine vinegar

1 teaspoon curry powder

1/4 teaspoon ground tumeric

1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

half cut grated carrot

half cup minced fresh flat leaf parsley (Continental or Italian)

half a cup dried currants

1/4 cup blanched, sliced almonds (pine nuts are also good)

2 spring onions (scallions) thinly sliced, white and green parts

1/4 finely diced red onion

Place the couscous in a medium bowl.  Melt the butter in the boiling water and pour over the couscous.  Cover tightly and allow the couscous to soak for five minutes.  Fluff with a fork.

Whisk together the yoghurt, olive oil, vinegar, curry, tumeric, salt and pepper.  Pour over the fluffed couscous and mix well with a fork.  Add the carrots, parsley, currants, almonds, spring onions and red onions, mix well and taste for seasoning.  Serve at room temperature.